When we can’t visit our loved ones in person, a phone call is a classic way to stay in touch. But as anyone who has talked on the phone for a long period can attest to, this isn’t always the easiest thing to do.
That’s why, while communicating with a loved one who has dementia can already be challenging, a phone call represents another layer of complexity that strips aways the comforting presence of facial expressions and body language.
Visual signals often help people understand context, making conversations feel more connected. Without visual signals, communication becomes harder, more easily leading to frustration for everyone involved.
However, there are ways to nurture meaningful conversations despite these obstacles. Talking to someone with dementia on the phone requires patience, empathy, and a few strategic approaches to make the interaction meaningful.
How Dementia Affects Communication
Before picking up the phone, let’s take a moment to understand how dementia affects communication. Dementia, especially in its advanced stages, can impair:
- Memory
- Cognitive function
- Language skills
- Reasoning and judgment
- Comprehension
This means your loved one might struggle with recalling words, following conversations, or even recognizing your voice. Therefore, a conversation that feels natural to you might be confusing or even overwhelming for them.
Typically, you can try to manage potential miscommunication by ensuring your loved one is looking at you. This allows you to use facial cues, body language, and other visual aids to get your point across.
On a phone call, you lose access to these cues, making communication all the more difficult. But don’t worry—a phone call doesn’t have to stand in the way of connection.
Preparing for the Call
Preparation is key when planning to call someone with dementia. Start by calling at the time that’s best for them. If your loved one lives in memory care, you can always talk to the staff to help figure out what time works best; otherwise, you may need to experiment with a few different times of day. Here are a few tips to consider:
- Choose a quiet environment: Ensure that your surroundings are quiet and free from distractions. This helps your loved one focus on the conversation without being overwhelmed by background noise. This includes staying in a place with good reception!
- Plan your topics: Think ahead about what you’d like to talk about. Phone calls aren’t the place for complex conversations, so keep to simple topics like family updates. It can be helpful to write down any interesting stories you’d like to share, but if your loved one moves the conversation elsewhere, let them lead the way.
- Keep it short and sweet: Long conversations might be tiring for someone with dementia. Aim for shorter, more frequent calls instead of extended ones.
Using Clear & Simple Language
When talking to someone with dementia, clarity is crucial. Avoid complex sentences and jargon. Speak slowly and clearly, giving them time to process and respond while avoiding sounding like you’re talking to a child. Here are some strategies to keep in mind:
- Use their name often: This helps catch their attention and keeps them engaged in the conversation.
- Be patient: Give them time to respond. If they’re struggling, gently prompt them with related questions or reassurances.
- Avoid correcting them: If they say something incorrect, don’t correct them. Instead, steer the conversation back to a topic they’re comfortable with.
Incorporate Vocal Cues
While visual cues aren’t possible over the phone, you can still use vocal cues to guide the conversation:
- Express enthusiasm: Your tone of voice can convey enthusiasm and warmth, which can be comforting for your loved one. Physically smiling is a great way to add that cheerful tone to your voice! Remember, what may feel excessive in the moment can actually be perfect when heard over the phone.
- Describe your actions: If you’re sharing a story or discussing an event, describe it vividly. This helps your loved one visualize what you’re talking about and keeps them engaged.
- Use positive language: Focus on happy and reassuring topics. Avoid discussing negative news or stressful topics that might create anxiety.
Being Ready for Emotional Moments
Conversations with someone who has dementia can sometimes become emotional. They might feel frustrated or anxious, but it’s important to remain calm and supportive:
- Acknowledge their feelings: If your loved one expresses fear or frustration, acknowledge their feelings. Saying something like, “I understand this is hard for you,” can be very comforting.
- Reassure and redirect: Offer reassurance and gently redirect the conversation to a more positive topic if things start to become too overwhelming.
Wrapping Up the Call
Ending the call on a positive note is just as important as beginning it. Always end with words of reassurance and love. Tell them that you’ll call again or remind them about upcoming visits to give them something to look forward to.
Make sure they understand that the call is ending. Use clear phrases like, “I have to go now, but I’ll call you again soon.”
Stay Connected with Compassion at Liana of Venice
Ideally, we’d all love to be right next to our loved ones when talking to them. But while talking to someone with dementia on the phone might require more effort and patience, the rewards can be immense. These conversations provide comfort, connection, and joy not only for your loved one, but also for you.For those moments you can’t be there, you need to know your loved one is cared for. If you’re considering memory care for your loved one, contact our team at Liana of Venice and discover how we create a community of warmth.
